


I Prayed For This Moment

by YeahWhoCares



Series: Sam In Heaven [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Build up to character interactions, Each new post will introduce a new character meeting, F/M, M/M, Mentioned Bobby Singer - Freeform, Mentioned Ellen Harvelle, Mentioned Jo Harvelle, Mentioned John Winchester - Freeform, Mentioned Mary Winchester - Freeform, Sam in Heaven, first in the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3423863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeahWhoCares/pseuds/YeahWhoCares
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If anyone ever tells you that death is the end, we'll they've never met a Winchester.<br/>When Sam dies, once again, he's given the choice, Heaven or Earth? When he chooses Heaven, he runs across a few people.</p>
<p>In the first installment to the "Sam In Heaven" series, read as Sam makes peace with his decision and finds his first Heavenly friend. Is that...Jess?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Prayed For This Moment

**Author's Note:**

> So, as you can tell, this is the first installment, of at least 5 linked meetings, and two that will be totally unrelated to the first set.
> 
> I can't wait to continue this, it will be slow building, but part two is in the works and should be published in the next 2/3 weeks.
> 
> I'm taking prompts and suggestions over on Tumblr, so hope over to my blog and leave an ask! My url is at the end notes.

Sam looked around, confused to his whereabouts. What happened? How did he get here? He tried to think back to what he was doing last, but it was fuzzy. Small pieces started coming back. The Impala. Dean and Cas. Hunting! They were hunting a Wendigo. He remembers now! He, Dean and Cas had split up in the dark woods, Sam had been slowly edging his way up towards a cave entrance when something sharp struck along his back, before his world went black.

 

Crap! He was dead wasn’t he? Oh god! Where the hell is he? We’ll he at least knows that he is in fact, not in Hell, so that’s a plus. He can’t be in heaven either though, a reaper hasn’t come for him yet so what in God’s name was he sup- his thoughts were cut off abruptly when a voice spoke from behind him, an eerily familiar voice “Sam Winchester, let’s hope this is the _last_ time we meet”. He turned around to confirm his suspicions, and yes! Death was indeed, standing behind him.

 

“Erm, Hello…Sir?” Sam stuttered, unable to come up with a name for the- man? - in front of him, he so wasn’t calling him Death! Getting his thoughts back on track he asked “Where am I?”

 

Death tilted his head “you are in the veil Sam, I thought you would have known that” he says, almost sarcastically.

 

“I did know that!” Sam sassed back, accidentally “I mean, where specifically? I though souls showed up somewhere where they have a connection?”

 

“Ah!” Death sighed “that would be my fault, you see, I know that your brother and his angel have found your empty vessel, I also know that they are trying to bring you back, but what I want to know before my reapers get caught up with that brother of yours again is, do _you_ want to go back or do you want to go to heaven Sam?”

 

Sam always believed if he was given the opportunity to return from the dead he would take it, but over the last 9 or so years, he has died too many times and now that the world is relatively safe (not including Wendigo’s) he figures it’s his time to find paradise. Dean had Cas, and Cas had Dean, so they’d be ok without him, they’d be able to move on from his death together, but Sam? Everyone Sam ever loved had died or moved on in one way, shape or form, and now he just wanted to go and find them in their own heaven’s, with this in mind he answered “no, I’ve died enough, been brought back too many times than anyone should have allowed, I want to find my peace now that Dean and Cas pulled their heads out of their asses!” he finished with a nod.

 

Death snorted “yes, half the universe where wondering when it would happen” he chuckled before straightening up “you wish to move on to heaven Samuel Winchester?” at Sam’s nod he continued “very well, but to ensure your brother doesn’t mess with your decision I will take you back, as a soul, to see your brother one last time on earth where _you_ can tell him for yourself.”

 

Sam was slightly shocked, but didn’t protest “ok, thanks” he murmured, before Death gripped him arm- Can he still call it an arm if he’s technically a ghost/heaven bound soul? – and flew off to Dean.

 

When they landed, for all intense purposes, it was in the Bunker Library. Sam looked around and was shocked to find not only Dean and Cas pouring over lore and spell books, but also Charlie and Garth. He never realized how much he would be missed until now. He could see in everyone’s eyes, the tears they were holding back, and he could also see the determination, and realized that he might have a fight on his hands.

Death coughed, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room “hello humans!” he spoke, no louder than usual, but it still carried across the room as a bellow.

 

“Death? Man what are you doing here? I didn’t summon you-“ he cut off, spinning round to glare at the other three occupants “who summoned him? I told you not to summon him!”

 

“No one summoned me Dean, I am here to bring you a message of sorts” Death spoke, unconsciously soothing Dean. He liked the guy, and promised himself that he wouldn’t try to force his hand again.

 

“What message? Is it Sammy?” Dean asked, hope rising in his eyes.

 

“Yes, young Sam has a message, but perhaps it would be better if you heard it from him, himself?” he asked rhetorically, tilting his head.

 

Death waved his ring clad hand towards the door where Sam was standing, invisibly, when suddenly Sam apparently became visible, due to everyone’s reactions.

 

Dean ran toward the door, stopping just in front of Sam “you’re a soul aren’t you?” at Sam’s nod he continued “you’re not going to fight your way back either?” he asked, staring at is brother intently. Sam shook his head this time causing Dean to drop him as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

 

“Why?” this time, the question came from Cas “Why won’t you fight to come back Sam?” his voice cracked and Sam realized that as he saw Cas as a brother, Cas had also come to see Sam as a brother. A real brother, different from the Angels.

 

“I paid my dues Cas!” Sam suddenly cracked, as his voice rose “how many more people do I need to loose before I get my shot at heaven? How many years without Jess until I can go find her again? How many more decades in Hell, huh Cas? I’ve lost almost everyone I’ve ever loved, been dragged to Hell, twice if we’re being technical, died more times that I can count and had to watch everyone else suffer at my mistakes. How many more years of nightmares do I need to endure before I get my peace?” he shouted, tears slowly making their way down his face before disappearing when they dropped off his chin.

 

Cas suddenly smiled. It was still a sad smile, but a smile none the less.

 

“Why are you smiling?”

 

“Because, I knew you’d react that way. I’ve been to heaven, I know what’s awaiting you there Sam, but I also knew that Dean wouldn’t let go without hearing from you, why you don’t want to come back.”

 

Sam was stunned “when did you get so smart?” he asked, pulling a laugh from everyone.

Sam turned to Dean “please don’t fight me on this” he whispered.

 

“I won’t” Dean sighed “I just- I just don’t know what am I gonna do now, you know?” he shrugged.

 

Now it was Sam’s turn to sigh “just because I’m not here doesn’t mean you need to stop living your life. There’s still people here who need you Dean. Who’s gonna show Cas how to work a laptop and all that other human stuff if you stop? Who’s gonna make sure Charlie continues filing the Libraries, so you don’t have to? And who’s Garth gonna talk to when he’s feeling pulled down by his wolf? If you stop going, everyone else will fall with you, do you understand? And whenever it’s your time to go, I’ll be waiting up there for Cas to fly you up, ok?”

 

Dean nodded, wiping the barely concealed tears from his eyes “ok, I get it. I’ll keep going, but you gotta promise me something?” Dean says seriously, he waits until Sam nods before continuing “you gotta look for Mom up there, and Jo, Ellen and Bobby. Find Ash if you need help…we’ll Ash will probably find you, but- you have to promise Sammy?”

 

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat “I promise” he whispered before turning to Cas “you gotta look after Dean for me Cas. You need to make sure he keeps healthy and that he gets his four hours, and that he’s not too reckless on hunts!”

 

“I promise” Cas vows, solomly.

 

“Look after yourself too, please?” Sam pleads, knowing how reckless Cas can be.

 

“I will Sam” Cas says as he pulls Sam in for a hug “thank you brother” he whispers so quietly, Sam barely hears him, but still replies “welcome brother” before letting go and looking over at Charlie.

 

“You have to keep safe!” he scolds “no more trips to mystical universes, or run in’s with magical creatures until you’re fully trained! I never got a sister until I met you and I don’t want you up there with me too soon. I want you old and grey before I see you again, you hear?” he demands, softly.

 

Charlie blinks up at him, tears already spilling from her wet eyelids “I promise Sam, I love you” she whispers threw a sob.

 

“I love you too, Charlie” Sam says, kissing her hair gently and rubbing her back for a few minutes before letting her go and turning to Garth.

 

“Garth?” Sam speaks hesitantly “I know that you’ll look after yourself and you’ll make sure no one does anything stupid, but can I ask a favor before you inevitably hug me?” he asks, laughing lightly, when Garth nods, he continues “can you or your wife maybe check up on Jody and Alex for me please? I can’t go to them anymore and I need someone to tell them, to their faces that I’m dead.”

 

“Of course Sam, anything for you!” Garth replies, lacking his usual brightness before crushing Sam into the biggest bear hug he’d ever been given “I’ll miss you, but sadly I’ll never be seeing you again. After I die its purgatory for me” he shrugged.

 

“Damn it!” Sam exclaims “Damn it” he says again, quieter this time “I’ll miss you Garth, truly!”

 

“Same here Sam, but I’ll have a few friends waiting on me down there, plus I hear Dean’s old pal, Benny’s down there, I’ll probably hunt him down and share some gossip with him” he winks, making Sam laugh before he’s attacked into a group hug, bringing tears to his eyes.

 

After a few moments, Death reappears and says “Sam it’s time, if we wait too long the veil will close” Sam nods before detangling himself from the hug.

 

“Ok, just one more minute” he said, before turning to everyone else “I’ll see you again, hopefully not too soon, but one day.” He then turned to Garth “try not to end up dead too soon either, have some were-babies and grow old first, then find Benny in Purgatory and give him a message for me, just tell him _“I’m sorry for all the hassle I gave him”_ he was a good guy and didn’t deserve it”.

 

Garth nodded, before hugging Sam again.

 

Sam hugged everyone else before Death grabbed him and flew off to heaven.

 

Sam was confused, firstly he was alone again, and secondly he was standing in front of a house he had never seen before.

 

It was a small two story red bricked house, with a wrap-around porch that had one of those hanging swings. There was a big dog house off to the side and…was that _Baby_ sitting in the drive way. Sam froze when a conversation from over 10 years ago rang through his mind. This was the house he and Jess were going to buy, the one the spoke about at night when they were lying in bed together. That meant….Jess! She was here!

 

Sam took off into a sprint, heading for the front door. Before he could reach it, it swung open revealing Jess, still looking like she did when they were at College together. Sam felt tears gather in his eyes, which started to fall when Jess greeted him “Hi baby” she spoke, almost shyly.

 

“Jess?” Sam asked, worried that this was all his imagination.

 

“Yeah, it’s me handsome.”

 

Sam laughed through a sob as he closed the distance between them, wrapping has arms around her waist, holding her tightly to him.

 

“I’m sorry” he sobbed “so, so sorry baby.”

 

“It’s ok Sammy, it’s all ok now” Jess whispered gently, carding her hand threw his long hair.

 

“No its not” Sam insisted, shaking his head, which was buried in Jess’s shoulder “I should have told you about my life, so you could protect yourself. I didn’t want you to know, I thought I was protecting you by keeping you in the dark, but it didn’t work, and you died” he sobbed, holding her even tighter against his chest at the memories of her death.

 

“It was wrong of you to keep a secret that big from me Sam, but I don’t think I would have believed you so you have to let it go, please baby, for me?”

 

Sam thought about it and nodded “ok, I’ll try.”

 

“Thank you.” Jess breathed “but we still need to talk. I was able to see a lot of the things that happened after I died.”

 

Sam hung his head in shame thinking about everything; his first death, Ruby, demon blood, choosing it over Dean, hurting his big brother, saying yes to Lucifer, being soulless and letting his brother get turned into a vampire, not looking for his brother when he was in Purgatory, Amelia, everything. He had never felt more ashamed of himself as he did at that moment.

 

“Sammy?” Jess called to him quietly “don’t do that!” she scolded “what happened with Ruby wasn’t your fault, she used Dean’s death and his stint in Hell to corrupt your mind. You almost went crazy with grief and she used that to mold you and make you think that the blood was ok. Going to Hell…baby, that was one of the most selfless things you had ever done and everything that happened when your soul was still in Hell wasn’t your fault, your soul carries all our goodness, and your goodness was not inside you for that year, so that doesn’t count. And, everything else you did because you believed it was the right choice!”

 

Jess sighed before putting her hands on either side of Sam’s face “baby, no matter how much I wish we could pretend those last 10 years didn’t happen, we can’t, it’s just not plausible with what you’ve been through, and what it’s done to you. But that doesn’t mean we can’t stay here together and live on the rest of our afterlife together, along with a few other people while we wait for Dean and Cas, okay?”

 

Sam looked at Jess before answering “that sound’s amazing baby.” He paused before asking “how’d you know Cas?”

 

Jess laughed “aww baby, he’s been visiting me for years! He’s cute and was sorely misinformed on romance…how’d you think he worked up the courage to talk to Dean?” she sassed, cheekily, cocking her hip.

 

Sam laughed, long and hard “you?” at her nod, he laughed louder “oh man! I didn’t think Cas was going to see anyone, I just assumed all those months before he and Dean got together, that he was just off flying around trying to sort out his feelings”.

 

“He came to me one day – _“hello Jessica. I am Castiel, an Angel of the Lord” –_ and told, that you spoke about me with him, telling him about how we met and what we did for those 2 years, and asked for my help. He said he felt “funny” around Dean and didn’t know what was wrong with him. Long story short, he was so head over heels for your brother that he could hardly think straight” Jess started laughing “oh go- erm, goodness, did he ever tell you about the time he couldn’t control his wings?” she asked, laughter shining in her eyes.

 

“No” Sam answered, confused, but overjoyed that Cas and Jess got along.

 

“Well, basically, you guys were on a hunt and you had tottered off to a library like “the geek Dean says you are”, so Cas decided to go and visit Dean. They were talking when Dean said he was going for a shower. Cas had decided to hang around a bit longer, as he had nothing better to do. Anyway, Dean had slipped in the shower and got tangled up in the shower curtain and had shouted Cas in to help him up. He had the curtain covering everything but his face, forearms and bottom half of his legs. Cas had went in and grabbed his arm, swinging him up, but Dean didn’t have enough time to grip the shower curtain and it fell. So Cas got a look at Dean in his birthday suit prompting him to literally sprout an angel boner, while Dean got an actual boner from seeing Cas’s wings!”

 

“No!” Sam laughed in shock “Wait? An Angel boner? Does Cas have black wings with blue tips?” Sam asked, the still laughing Jess.

 

“Yeah baby, why?”

 

“I kept finding feathers everywhere. The car, the kitchen, Dean’s room, the bathroom, everywhere!” he laughed.

 

Jess giggled “it happened a few times. Dean would do or say something that Cas found “pleasing” and his wings would pop out. The poor guy was mortified, he didn’t know what was wrong with him until he noticed a pattern, every time _little Cas_ popped up, his wings would pop out.”

 

“Oh God that’s awesome!” Sam laughed then trailed off “what are we going to do now?” he asked, slightly apprehensive.

 

“Baby, this is _our_ Heaven, we can do whatever we want!” Jess squealed, spinning around with her arms out.

 

Sam nodded, a blinding smile lighting his face “ok, but first, before we settle into our forever Heaven, I promised Dean I would find a few people, I just need to wait until someone finds _me_ first.”

 

He was worried, what if Jess didn’t want to trail around Heaven? But his worry was for naught as Jess nodded happily, although slightly bashful “do you think your mom will like me?” she whispered.

 

“Jess” Sam breathed as he gathered her up in his arms “you’re amazing, she’ll love you baby. I just- I don’t-“ Sam choked off, with sudden realization “I get to see her, Jess. I’ve never- I don’t remem-“ he cut off, breaking down into cathartic sobs.

 

Jess, realizing what he was thinking, tightened her arms around him and shushed him gently “baby, calm down” she eased as Sam began to hyperventilate “it’s going to be ok, we’ll find her and you’ll get to hug her and tell her how much you love her baby. We’ll find your mom, it doesn’t matter who else we find before or after, if it takes us the rest of time we **_will_** find your mom!” Jess insisted “I love you so much baby, and I know how much you miss your mom, and I will do everything in my power to get you to your mother!”

 

“I love you, so much, I don’t deserve you” Sam sobbed into Jess’s shoulder, holding her impossibly tight “I can’t wait to see her and make my own memories. Dean used to tell me about her, but then he stopped as we got older, and Dad never liked speaking about her” Sam shrugged.

 

“Well then, what are we waiting for baby? Let’s go find her!” Jess exclaimed, pulling back from Sam, but grabbing his hand in the process.

 

“Where to first?” Sam asked, looking around the expansive forest that seemed to encompass Heaven.

 

Before Jess could answer someone jumped out from the forest, shouting “Have no fear! Ash is here!” causing Sam to drag Jess behind him under pure instinct.

 

When he realized who he was facing he stepped aside so Jess was once against beside him and laughed “Jesus, Ash! Couldn’t have been any less dramatic could you?” he asked.

 

“Of course not, Sammy!” he said, seriously “now! I’ve been looking for you since you blinked up on my radar and I am here to bring you to my Heaven!” he declared.

 

“Why your Heaven?” Sam asked, anxious to find his mother, but not wanting to miss out on catching up with Ash, another one of the Winchester’s dead friends.

 

“Well, I occupy the only Heaven that can directly attach itself to another’s heaven using only my old pc, and the back door of the Roadhouse. I have already contacted everyone else who you could possibly want to meet who is in Heaven. We have Ellen, Jo, Bobby, and Cas can pop in and out whenever he pleases. Plus, I have a doubly whammy, I managed to find you momma and your pops!”

 

Sam stopped breathing for a moment before he dropped to his knees “you found my mom and dad? And I can see them right now?” Sam asked, shakily, as Jess ran her hands soothingly through his hair.

 

“Well, yeah, it should only take me a few minutes to re-calibrate the door. Everyone was fighting over who got to go first, but Bobby shut them all up and said your parents should see you first, well actually your mom wants to see you first before your dad gets in.”

 

Sam struggled to breathe “she wants to see me?” he asked, in a barley heard whisper.

 

Ash looked shocked and confused for a minute before realization washed over him. He strode forward before dropping to his knee’s before the large Winchester and grabbing the man’s neck “you listen here, cowboy, your mother has been waiting over 30 years to see and hold her baby boy. Never _once_ has it crossed her mind to blame you for her death. You were six months old when that demon climbed in your house and fed you his blood, not once where you in the position to be aware of what was happening or in the position to stop him. You were six months old Sammy, _no one_ would expect that from a six month old baby. No one, but yourself, blames you for that happening’s that night. That demon is the only person to blame! If you go in there blaming yourself how do think your mom’s gonna feel when she hears, huh? When she finds out her boy’s been walking about for over ten years believing that he’s the reason his mother died!” Ash all but growled at Sam before he climbed back up onto his feet “now get your rear in gear and hop along, everyone’s dying to see you again, and to meet young Jessica here.” He finished off, before turning around and heading into the forest.

 

With that, Sam took a deep breath before struggling to his feet. He turned towards Jess and held his hand out “well, what do you say baby? Ready to meet the rest of my family?”

 

Jess took his outstretched hand, and followed her Sammy to his family.

 

She couldn’t wait to meet everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this. I will also be posting it on my FanFiction page user - InLoveWithNateBuzolic and my Tumblr - LikeMyGirls-A-LittleBitOlder.
> 
> Please feel free to comment and leave kudos.


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